saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?" "DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"
"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"
"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-""SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?"
"DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"

"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"

"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"

"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-"

"SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

(Source: spookysage, via relahvant)

callmeoutis:

armorgan66:

hints-of-sarcasm:

There needs to be a phrase for “I acknowledge your apology and appreciate it but it does not make things better.” instead of just saying “It’s okay.” all the time. 

I recognize the council has made an apology, but given that it is a stupid ass apology, I have elected to ignore it.

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thank you director fury

(via relahvant)

fluffmugger:

tygermama:

weareallmedie:

i-mnotbrokenjustbent:

everythingsbetterwithbisexuals:

clonetrooperpenguin:

*collective laugh from the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D fandom.*

*sarcastic grin from Batman*

*thumbs up from Iron Man*

*Oracle crashes site*

*sarcastic editorial by Lois Lane*

Please, we’d all be Darcy and we know it.

fluffmugger:

tygermama:

weareallmedie:

i-mnotbrokenjustbent:

everythingsbetterwithbisexuals:

clonetrooperpenguin:

*collective laugh from the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D fandom.*

*sarcastic grin from Batman*

*thumbs up from Iron Man*

*Oracle crashes site*

*sarcastic editorial by Lois Lane*

Please, we’d all be Darcy and we know it.

(via only-slightly-sarcastic)

nico-diangelcakes:

nico-diangelcakes:

So i have this giant pencil right

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I think we all know where this is going.

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the amount of people saying that they were expecting me to shove it up my ass is alarming

(via pizza)

dulect:

Me being late to class

dulect:

Me being late to class

dutchster:

i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins

(via relahvant)

ughjxnna:

OH MY GOD THIS CARD

(via braydaaan)

fuckyeah-nerdery:

cranzerries:

cranzerries:

I dream to someday run a companies twitter

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Can we just talk about Smart Car doing math on how much bird shit it would take to damage their cars?

(via thatmoustachetho)